the Deepster's Dizziness

Exploits in art….
Browsing Life

Yes & Amen…


Pink acrylic paint, washi tape, alphabet stamps and embossed metallic lettering

I got this verse from a website called ‘Yes & Amen’. It’s from 2 Corinthians 1:20, and the whole verse is “All the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory.”

I wanted to make art about this, so took the lines:

“All the promises of GOD find their YES in HIM.  That is why we utter our AMEN”

I’ve been smoking all sorts of things since I was 17, but the year before last I started using e-cigarettes and then totally stopped.  It wasn’t quite that I decided, it was that I just didn’t feel I needed to smoke anymore. Smoking has always been part of my life – I remember being sent to the shops by my Dad to get cigarettes for him.  But when he caught me smoking myself, I was in Uber-trouble. My sisters found out, everyone could smell it on my clothes…but I never admitted to it.

Even now, after we’ve been out for the day, I sometimes think ‘ooh, time for a fag.’ But then I remember I don’t smoke anymore – wahey!  It’s not a craving, but it’s a habit to think about it.  I don’t think I had to work hard to give up.  My friend Mary-Ann disagrees though – she says I showed a great deal of courage when quitting smoking. To make the decision, stick with it and never go back on my promise to myself.

The truth is, God promised me life and Jesus gave up his life for me, so giving up smoking is nothing in the grand scale of things.  But there are other things in my life that are difficult, and there are things that I am truly thankful for.

It’s not always easy to navigate life.

This journal page is about me hoping that I can say ‘yes’ to God.  After I’ve told him I’m sorry for all the awful things I’ve done. Then I say ‘Amen’- thank you.

It feels to me like all of God’s promises find their yes in Him.

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Yet another occasion when I haven’t recognised someone famous


Years ago when I lived in Portobello, I did not recognise Damon Albarn. At the time he was one of the most famous musicians in the country.

I once approached the singer from Erasure in a pub in Hampstead who immediately raised his eyebrows, thinking I was a groupie.  No, I just wanted him to keep an eye on my bag while I went for a leak.

Today I went to the Primrose Bakery, a cupcake emporium which is just round the corner from me, and failed to notice Jude Law…Hollywood actor and apparent heart-throb.  IMG_7936


It’s unusual for me to leave the house but there was the promise of cake at the other end. So kicking and screaming I went.  For the promise of cupcake.  I was with my friend Mary-Ann (who is slightly famous but I DID recognise her).

Anyway, when we got to the cupcake shop we sat next to some bloke.  He was eating a cupcake.  I didn’t recognise him at all, but turns out it was famous Jude.

I’m guessing both Damon, the Erasure guy and Jude were quite pleased that I didn’t wave a piece of paper in their faces, asking ‘please Sir, can I have your autograph?’ or want to have a photo with them.  Then again, they might have been sitting there thinking, ‘how can this woman not realise who I am??!!’

The moral of this post is not that you should go hang out in the places I’ve mentioned, on the off-chance you’ll see famous people.

It’s that the cupcake shop is pretty cool. They do uber-amounts of cupcake flavours there.  That’s not to say I like cupcakes, oh no, don’t jump to that conclusion, but it’s good to try new things at least once a day.  I had a mojito-flavoured one, complete with frosted mint leaf. Mary-Ann had salted caramel, with a crushed up Werther’s Original on top.  We don’t know what flavour Jude went for.

Before I wrote this post I had to look up on the internet who the hell Jude Law was.  Sorry Jude.  I hope the cupcake bakery gets plenty of business from the people who read this blog – either because they luuurve cupcakes, or because they like Hollywood-acting, cake-eating heart-throbs.

Mary-Ann did draw the line at enabling me to purchase a fabric carrier bag advertising the bakery, with a huge cupcake on the front of it… don’t know why I’m still mates with her!! Ho ho.  I’m glad she came over today – not only did I get the chance to not recognise someone famous, I also got to eat cupcakes! Yee ha!

Me, myself and I


We discovered a very cool app called Turbo Collage for Mac.  You just add a bunch of images, choose from one of five layouts, hit shuffle and hey presto!  This is a collage Miles did of me through the ages……lol!

Deepa Collage




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Valentine’s Day 2014

Valentine's Day 2014

Valentine’s Day 2014














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Hungarian Shadow Theatre


Not craft related, but definitely worth seeing.

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Stealing my dreams


I got the idea for this spread from a reading in the United Christian Broadcasters’ booklet ‘Word for Today’, which on the 5th, 6th and 7th of February were about ‘Living Fearlessly’.

When you’re training an elephant, you control it by controlling its thinking. You put a rope around the elephant’s leg, nail it to the ground, and it learns that it can’t go any further than that. Even once the elephant has grown up, and is strong enough to break the rope and escape, it thinks it can’t so it doesn’t try.

The booklet describes how the elephant’s fear can prevent it from breaking free.  Perhaps subconsciously that’s how I feel.

I’m afraid of failing in my artwork.  If I’m afraid of failing in my artwork, it can prevent me from actually trying.

Live Fearlessly

Live Fearlessly

I don’t always value my art, and feel over-awed when people say nice things about stuff I’ve done.

I’m still not in love with the four canvases I did last year, inspired by the seasons.

When I did a course in collage at the Mary Ward Centre, I did a piece of work that took me forever. People really raved about it, but in my mind I was just thinking they were talking pants.  Even now, when I think back to that stuff, there’s nothing about it that I remember.

When I did art at the Marie Curie, there is nothing now that stands out to me about what I did. I can’t recall anything.

Maybe that’s just me.  My carer Mary-Ann says that I’m mean to myself in a way that I’d never dream of being mean about anyone else. Or their work, or their talent. I don’t feel like I have any talent.

There are some things I did craft-wise that I can say- “ooh, that’s good, I’m really pleased with that. That was a really good idea.”

I’ve always separated ‘craft’ from ‘art’. I never thought of myself as ‘artistic’, I still don’t. I can’t do art by myself. The only reason I can do these journal spreads is because my carers are my ‘hands’.  Maybe that’s why I don’t value the work I’ve done.

In this ‘fearless’ spread, there’s something about the composition that I’m not happy with.  But it did satisfy me that I did it all in blue. People have said that if I paint all in blue, does it mean I’m really sad? No, not consciously. But maybe I need to speak to my therapist about that!

When I think about this spread, I think about how I got to where I am now. When I was a teenager, I wanted to train in journalism. But I got kicked out of college for not going to lectures. Then I got kicked out of the house. When I got kicked out of the house, I went to live with Sam and Jenny, and got into youth work. I did it for 18 years, got a degree in Informal and Community Education, but then I couldn’t do it anymore because the MS had developed.

MS steals things.  It stops me from achieving the things I used to be able to do independently. But if it wasn’t for the MS, I wouldn’t have got involved with art or craft in the first place.

I can do these art projects, but only with help and support.  I need to remember that that doesn’t make my art any less valuable, or any less personal.

I should grab the opportunities for art by the horns.

I need to complete the various programmes that I’ve signed up for and prove to myself that I can do this.

The people around me see me as an artist. Maybe I need to embrace that, despite the fear.

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Tough days come and go…


For the last few days I’ve been working on a multi-day spread (MDS). It’s an idea from Book of Days with Effy Wild.

The title of my spread was ‘Tough Days come and go, Tough People STAY’. I used Reeves acrylic paints for the background,  stamped the words TOUGH and STAY in paint and metallic ink, and used printed lettering for ‘days come and go’ and ‘tough people’.  Tim Holtz distress ink pads aged some papers, and Golden’s metallic bronze glaze coloured others.

I used text from Romeo and Juliet, the scene where Juliet’s body has been discovered. I used scrapbook papers for two days of my MDS, written by my carer.  Another carer helped me write an entry about how I’ve been feeling and the effects of that.

I don’t know where I got the quote, ‘Tough days come and go, Tough People stay’.

Tough Days come and go, Tough People STAY

Tough Days come and go, Tough People STAY

I must have read it or seen it somewhere recently, but I don’t know where. What was in my head, was that life is TOUGH. When the days are tough, that’s when you need the people around you to be tougher.  To stay with you. Keep at it with you.




I’ve been loooooking forward to Christmas for ages, it takes me back to being about 10 again, with my mum and dad.

When I was a child, we used to go to midnight mass on the night of the 24th December at Sacred Heart Church, Wimbledon. Sacred Heart Church, WimbledonThis was part of our annual Christmas ritual and, for me, represented the start of Christmas and everything that came with it. I remember the church was always packed, and the service was about an hour and a half too long, with me itching to get home and start opening my presents.

Back at home, my dad always bought a nice, real Christmas tree, and I will always remember the smell of pine and a carpet of green needles from the tree.  Along with our presents we also had a toy house under the tree, which my dad had brought from his time in Paris, and we converted it into the stable from a nativity scene.

As soon as we got home after midnight mass, the next part of the ritual began, ripping open my presents.  Back in the 70s, childhood was a lot simpler and I was lot easier to please.  I remember getting a Girl’s World toy, which was basically a doll’s bust for little girls to practice hair and make-up on (this was long before equalities). My favourite present was the Tiny Tots Family Tree House.  I definitely reckon they should bring that back. Simpler times…..



Fast forward 30 years and my husband and I spent a glorious Christmas Day with my sister Jenny and her family.  My brother in law, Sam, is pastor of his own church – which is quite literally across the road from his house.  We attended the Christmas morning service, sang carols, and generally felt very Christmassy as the rain poured down outside.

Like I used to as a child, they had already opened their presents at midnight.  My husband being the delayed gratification sort made me wait until the afternoon for present opening.  It must be something about the English? We had a fantastic Christmas Dinner that put us all to sleep until the early evening.

And what I really take from this day is the sense of belonging and family, and I hope that wherever you were and whatever you believe you were with family on Christmas Day.

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He is the reason for this season…..









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Happy Birthday and Joyeux Noel


As a birthday present this year, my husband Miles bought me a ticket to take the Eurostar to Paris for the day! Unbeknownst to me, my sister Jenny and her daughter Chloe were also going to come.

So we got a train from St Pancras and before we knew it, we were in La Gare du Nord train station in Gay Pareee! Apart from the fact that it was pouring with rain, and that (as usual) I was as cold as….as a cold person can be. So we went to the Eiffel Tower, closely followed by the Louvre, which is where we had lunch.

I couldn’t get right to the top of the Eiffel Tower because the lift only goes so far. So we were on the second floor – the view was really good but it was pissing with rain so I didn’t spend much time looking at it!

The only thing about the day that wasn’t as wonderful as it should have been, was that between moving from one place to another, we had to call a cab company that had disabled-accessible vehicles. So it meant we waited an hour between each place. Before we knew it, we were rushing back to the Gare du Nord. We missed our train, and only just caught the next train home!

The traffic was really bad and a 1km journey took us an hour and a half.  Everyone was trying to get somewhere – the trains weren’t running because someone had fallen off a train platform, and the roads were jammed.

I will certainly go back to Paris. I want to see the Mona Lisa and other works at the Lourve, and go to the Musee d’Orsay. Miles has already suggested that we go back to Paris in the Spring. But I’m also planning on blackmailing my carer Mary-Ann to go to the Musee d’Orsay with me! We’ll have to wait and see whether she’s feralling some children (she’ll know what I mean!).

Thanks to everyone, especially Miles and Jenny (for the 24hr lipstick! Maybe it’s Maybelline…). And to Chloe for helping me wheel around. She wisely chose not to wear her Frog Onesey.

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